Why you're Still Single

Nadine Walsh

Nadine is resident dating expert at slateyourdate.com and considers herself to be professionally single.

 

As owner of a dating site called slateyourdate.com, I  consider myself professionally single at this stage. I’m 26 and have have a sum total of one 8 month relationship and I’m OK with that. And no, the answer isn’t because I’m too picky. There are lots of reasons, in fact hundred of reasons as to why myself, or anyone else could be single. I’ve made a list of 30 I hope you can relate to. Perhaps you can print it and give to the next muppet that asks you. Enjoy and let us know if you have any more to add.


 

  1. You don’t actually want a partner. God forbid you actually like being single. Your own company is the best company.

  2. You’ve learned from your mistakes. Thou shalt not lower your standards ever again.

  3. Tinder has ruined the world. Is it just me or are you just not willing to have the same conversations over and over again online with different people hoping for a miracle that at some point one of them might say something interesting?

  4. You’re holding out for a hero. You still believe in true love and waiting for that one, you know that one that sweeps you off your feet and makes you feel all warm and fuzzy.

  5. You’re looking for something particular and that's OK. So you want a vegetarian that likes cats, yoga retreats and wants 24 children. You’re actively looking, that person just isn’t that easy to find.

  6. You don’t want commitment. The thought of a 12 month phone contract scares you, let alone be stuck with the same person FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

  7. You just want sex. You’ve loads of friends and an extremely hectic social life meaning you just want a little pleasure every now and then, OK?

  8. You’re not interested. Your last relationship was so awful it has put you off having a partner for a very long time so you’re good with just you for now. People are scary.

  9. You like being single. You like dating multiple people because it keeps it interesting.

  10. You’re genuinely too busy. You have got a demanding job, family and lots of other stuff going on so it wouldn’t be fair to start something with someone else because if you’re gonna do something, you’re gonna do it properly.

  11. You haven’t met anyone worth settling down with. You’re dating but none of them scream ‘together forever’ so you’ll keep on shifting and drifting till someone floats your boat..

  12. You’re figuring you out. You’re not sure where you wanna be in ten years, or what you wanna do with your life and that’s your priority right now, and so it should be.

  13. You’ve seen it all before. You’ve watched as friends’ and families relationships went under without being able to help and now you know all the signs of being with the wrong person so you won’t fall for any of it.

  14. Because in real life it’s not that easy to find prince or princess charming. Nobody chats to people up in real life anymore because you can’t swipe right in real life. You have to actually talk to people and that’s a skill most people have now lost. Rom Coms lied to us.

  15. You’re shy and you only like a certain amount of people.

  16. You’re messed up right now. There’s loads going on and you’re not in the right head space.

  17. You’re old school in a world of emojis. You like writing letters and singing at people which now people think is creepy.

  18. You’ve never had a relationship and you’re not sure how to go about it. You mean you’ve to talk to that person EVERY DAY? MOM???!!!!!

  19. Because it’s hard to find someone as awesome as yourself. There hasn’t been a match for someone as witty, charming and clever as you and you need a Jay Z to your Beyonce because you’re gonna rule the world.

  20. Because you’re so good-looking it’s intimidating. People don’t know what to do with you other than bow at your feet or run away screaming.

  21. Because no one understands you. People aren’t ok with the fact that you have an irrational fear of cotton wool or that you have an entire scrap book full of pictures of Mr Bean. You’re not weird, other people are.

  22. You want something real. If its not working after a date or two then it’s bye bye. You don’t believe you should have to work for love, it should come naturally.

  23. You’re independent. You don’t like sharing, be it food or problems, you’ve got this all figured out by yourself and a partner isn’t necessary. Now or ever.

  24. Dating is scary AF. Have you seen First Dates??? You can’t deal with the thoughts of the awkwardness, making small talk or telling your life story to a random person so you’re happy out just hanging with friends, thank you very much.

  25. Because the world is stupid and you keep finding all the pricks. It may be bad luck and you may be doomed forever but you seem to be attracting all of the weirdos and you don’t know why.

  26. Because everyone you meet seems to just want one thing and your cookie jar is sealed until you have damning evidence that this one is sent from above.

  27. You’re in love with someone you can’t have and there’s no one else you want.

  28. The person you like doesn’t like you back so you’re gonna mope about it and not move on.

  29. You’re not really a new people person. You don’t like meeting new people and have a close click and you’re extremely slow to let anyone else into the circle of trust.

  30. Because you don’t know how amazing you are so stop yourself from being with other people from being with you because you think other people shouldn’t have to deal with your shit. You kick ass every day without realising and you don’t give yourself any credit. Stop being so hard on yourself!