How to Get that Second Date
First dates. They’re a tricky one filled with uncertainty. And in this day and age it can be an uphill struggle even getting one. Then we have to think about the actual date. You’re terrified of losing conversation and awkward silence. Of pushing a pull door. Tripping and falling. Spilling food. Trust me, we get it.
70% of what you say is “unsaid”. In fact, your date is probably forming an impression of you before you even open your mouth. Sure, you might’ve prepared all the great lines to say but your body language will always reveal the truth. Learn and be aware of your basic body language before you go:
1. The way to increase likeability lies with mimicry. I can’t stress enough that it’s subtle mimicry like leaning in when they lean in, sipping your drink when they do and matching their volume and tone. The science behind it is that we are attracted to people like us; people that dress similarly or act similarly. Mimicry subconsciously puts out signals that you are similar types of people. It couldn’t be simpler. Word of caution though, do too much or over exaggerate and you’ll get caught out.
2. A good level of soft focus eye contact is essential to show you’re listening. Too much is just plain old creepy.
3. Show you’re interested in them by leaning in when they’re talking. It’ll show them that you’re enthusiastic and happy to be learning about them too. An occasional head tilt also signals friendliness and can increase your likeability to the other person.
Laugh if off
I can speak from experience with this one. Those embarrassing moments WILL happen no matter how much you stress over them and the only thing to do is laugh it off. I demolished a ceiling on my first date with my boyfriend. Yep. One stray basketball bounced onto the ceiling and two huge panels crashed down to the floor. We grabbed each other, ran out and laughed the whole way. Previously, I would’ve wanted to go into the Witness Protection Programme and change my identity after something like that. But I decided to laugh, and it turned into a moment that gave my boyfriend the impression that I’m, I quote, “chilled out and fun”. It seriously worked in my favour.
Just be Yourself
An old, cheesy and probably overused line. But it’s still a relevant one I think. There’s nothing worse than trying to get to know someone while juggling a new persona you’re trying to put on. You’ll get caught out eventually. Don’t be afraid of being weird either. Another one from personal experience. I pulled out my emergency ketchup collection that I always keep in my bag on a first date without a second thought. Another thing that ended up winning my boyfriend over.
If you’re finding that you’re constantly falling at the first hurdle, then this could be where you’re going wrong. Focus on creating a good first impression instead of all the things that could go wrong. The rest will hopefully fall into place.