How to Navigate The First Holiday with Your Other Half
There are two types of people – those who romantically dream of travelling the word with their other half and those who shudder at the mere thought of the simple weekend break together. No matter which camp you fall into, there are steps to take to avoid a big blowout abroad and to travel harmoniously. Unless they clap for a plane landing, we can all agree that’s never ok.
They say you never really know someone until you live with them and travelling can be seen as a sneak preview of what living together would be like. Will they be able to deal with the hangry, sleep deprived version of me in the airport at 3am? Can you deal with their OTT itinerary planning for every second of the trip? It’s a scary thought.
I have to say, I fall into the first category. I love travelling with my partner and we’ve been doing it as early as two months together. I was shocked to hear women older than me going on their first ever holiday with a guy and being really nervous about it. My boyfriend and I have done seven trips in our two and a half years together. In our relationship, it’s just never been a big deal. And I think that’s the first key to success:
DON’T MAKE A BIG DEAL OF IT
Repeat after me; it’s just a holiday, it’s just a holiday. It’s meant to be fun and don’t ruin the build up with negative energy. If you go in feeling like something bad is going to happen, then you’re basically dooming it from the very start.
Take the time to get excited with your partner. Research your destination together and make a list of places to visit and foods to try as a team. Replace the nerves and anxiousness with anticipation and excitement.
DON’T WORRY ABOUT TIMING
How early is too early?! I admit this is something I did worry about myself in the early days. I had a 21st Birthday weekend trip to London lined up for two months after we got together. It was a family thing and I thought it was WAY too early to be sending my boyfriend an invitation for a weekend away. Didn’t want to scare him off!
But it was actually him that asked me if he could come. I was shocked by his suggestion as I’d assumed it was too soon but I was delighted he would be coming along. It turned out being one of the best trips I’ve ever been on and we ended laughing all weekend long.
Stop worrying about what other couples are doing and when they’re doing it and focus on your own relationship. Your gut feeling will never steer you wrong. If it feels right – ask and get it booked!
WAKE UP AT DIFFERENT TIMES
What happens when an early bird goes on holiday with a night owl? Chaos I imagine! But it doesn’t have to be if you stick to your preferred schedule times. If you like being up early, head out at the crack of dawn and arrange to meet up somewhere later on (if it’s safe where you are of course).
The key is realising you don’t need to be attached at the hip the whole holiday. Sometimes a bit of breathing space is all you need to remove any tension that could potentially build up to an argument later on.
I think this is the most important one of all. Look at everything you want to do and all the places you want to go while you’re away. Get your partner to do the same.
I am very much a “leave early, come home late, lets pack as much as we can into one day” kind of traveller. I just love walking around and taking it all in. Whereas the boyfriend likes to take it slow and go with the flow. We often annoy each other with our opposing paces.
How do we make it work? We each make a hit list before we go. And we do both lists. It’s a win win. I make him walk around and tick off the sights and he makes me chill in a bar for the evening. We have a slow morning for him and an action packed afternoon for me. He has whole days in control of what we do and I have whole days in control of what we do. This level of compromising has resulted in ZERO arguments abroad.
I think we need to stop turning the first holiday with your other half into something scary and remember what a fun milestone and learning experience it is in your relationship. Who’s with me?